COMMUNITY VOICE, HIGH GEAR/JUNE 1977

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212

By John Nosek

Imagine yourself at the bar on

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a typical Friday night, consuming your favorite beverage and acknowledging your friends and acquaintances while you cast a new smile at an unfamiliar face. Everything is all the same., let's say, except that you are now functioning in silent world, one where there is no audio-feedback, one in which you cannot make yourself understood to any other person; a world where you are alone and craving a friendly word or gesture. You are deaf.

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Unless one comes into direct contact with deafness through a family or work situation, s/he is unlikely to give a second thought to the minority that comprises anywhere from two to five per cent of the U.S. population S/he is also probably unaware that the deaf resent the tag, "deaf and dumb," preferring the encompassing, "hearing impaired." To a large extent, deaf resentment is justified. Statistically, the deaf span of intelligence is distributed in the same proportions that reflect hearing intelligence quotients. And, in addition, most deaf can talk, perhaps not as clearly as most hearing people, but distinctively enough to be successful in attempts at communication. Even vocationally, the hearing impaired are employed in such diverse occupations mechanical engineer, keypunch operator, assistant professor, social worker, and general maintenance employment. Variety blooms as much in the deaf world as it does anywhere else. Tony Benvenuto, Jim Edwards, and Dan Seaberg are three members of the deaf gay community in Cleveland. When I contacted them to arrange an interview for this article, they displayed a good deal of enthusiasm, happy that someone was finally interested in portraying a perspective on their minority. Their views, of course, are not intended to be representative of the gay deaf community-at-large; nevertheless, they do shed some light on what it means to be deaf and gay. Perhaps the most significant obstacle to any deaf individual's adjustment is the communications gap. Although manual (sign language) communication is exchanged among the deaf, it is not so effective in deaf-non-deaf encounters. Aware that only a handful of deaf are "good" lip readers, I asked Tony, Jim, and Dan how they went about conversing with hearing gays at the bars. Their

responses; "If I'm drunk or in a good mood,

approach

someone first," said Tony; "Usually, I'll wait for another person to make the initial move. When they do, and I indicate to that I am them deaf by motioning my hands, if they're still interested, they'll ask for paper from the bartender, and we'll start writing to each other. Eventually, the person becomes intrigued by sign language, so I start teaching him fingerspelling." Jim added that he always takes paper with him to the bar and immediately starts writing when someone initiates a conversation: "It saves a lot of hassle." All of the interviewees agreed that in time each of them attempts to teach sign language to their new hearing friends, but Dan footnoted those ventures by saying: "At first, hearing people are very eager to learn sign language because it's novel and

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We are not dumb people. We have the same feelings, interests, and goals that hearing people have." In the course of our conversation, 1 relatively startled at some of the misconceptions hearing people voiced to Tony, Tim, and Dan. Obviously ignorant of the statistics that show the deaf, as a group, have a significantly safer driving record than hearing individuals, inquired how it was possible for a deaf person to drive. Replied Jim: "When you stop and think about it, you use your eyes much more than your ears when you're on the road.

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Because we can't depend on our hearing, we automatically look two or three times before changing lanes or making any important moves. It's sort of a conditionea response." Convin-

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something new, but unless you practice it on a steady basis and use it all the time, you're bound to forget most of what you were taught. Most hearing people don't have the patience to learn much more than the alphabet and a few simple signs."

As might be expected, not every contact the deaf make with hearing counterparts is positive. Laments Tony, "Often timés, hearing people don't want to take the time to communicate with us, because they think it's too much trouble. I've had people walk away from me instantly as soon as they discovered I had a hearing problem. It can be very frustrating and discouraging to get continuously rejected for something beyond your control.

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ced that a handicapped person cannot function in any normal capacity, another hearing individual once challenged Tony with the seemingly sincere inquiry: "How can deaf people make love? I would think they wouldn't know how,' to which a straight-faced Tony replied, "Let's go to your place and I'll show you how."

Interestingly, there exists a commonly held belief which can be substantiated to some extent with scientific data that persons who are deprived of one of their five senses compensate; for that loss by utilizing their remaining four senses to the fullest potential. Logically, it then follows. that a deaf or blind person exer cises his/her sense of touch more acutely than a "whole" inme amply ty

dividual, and is thus more sensuous. When I proposed that theory to Tony, Jim, and Dan, they all emphatically agreed. Said Dan: "You don't really need any verbal communication in a sexual act. Since we concentrate more on our other senses, I honestly think that the deaf make better lovers." Whether or not that claim is accurate is left to the curiosities of the hearing readers; but it does make sense. According to the three interviewees, there are presently about 18 gay deaf men in the city of Cleveland and 22 gay deaf women. The gay deaf have no real organizations linking them with other cities outside of Cleveland or with each other here, though many of them prefer to spend their social time with each other. Occasionally, the gay deaf may wish to associate with their straight brothers and sisters and do this at the Cleveland Deaf Club, a bar located at 1381 West 6th Street. Other times, they socialize with hearing gay friends or co-employee hearing straight friends.

As do hearing peep, each of the deaf come out in their own special, unique manner. Shared Tony: "When I was twelve years old, I had sex with one of the boys I went to school with. At the time I felt sinful and ashamed. Everyone was so down on gays that it was hard to come out completely. Now I don't believe in God. We all really are the same gay or straight, deaf or hearing, black or white. And since we can't change, we may as well live our lives as we are and be happy." Said Jim. "I've known I was gay since I was eight years old. I had a hard time accepting it at first because of all the restrictive social and religious attitudes; but I've outgrown that. After realizing who I was, my next big problem was getting information about the bars. Until you meet someone who is deaf and gay, you live in sort of a limbo state. We deaf really discover the bars from each other." Confided Dan: ། came out when I was eighteen. Before, I always dated and made it with girls, but it was not completely satisfying. Finally, I couldn't take it any longer. At the time I was on a deaf baseball team and there was another guy on the team who was very swishy. I couldn't get myself to talk to him because all the other guys made t him, until I got to talk to

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him alone and he turned me to the Cleveland gay scene." Asked if their parents knew

they were gay, Jim and Dan replied they did not, concluding that revealing the truth about themselves would only create more problems and unhappiness. Tony's mother who is of hard herself hearing discovered Tony was gay from other deaf people: "Though she was quite upset at first, in time she calmed down and is now quite understanding."

Is the straight deaf community tolerant of its gay memmembers? Reflects Tony: "Many deaf people enjoy gossip, because it is an effective means of getting attention. Most, but not all, straight deaf have a negative attitude toward homosexuality. Since I'm out of the closet, I tell others I'm gay if they ask. They ask me why, insisting that it's better with a girl. I say it's my business, and I'll do what I want to. Still stubborn, they accuse me of being dirty so i just walk away."

Do the deaf prefer hearing lovers or deaf lovers? Said Jim: "All of my life I've had mostly hearing lovers, the longest relationship lasting five months. Actually, I prefer hearing men." Remarks Tony: "I'd prefer my freedom. The closest I came to a lover was a hearing person; but I wouldn't mind a Ideaf lover either."

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The hearing society-at-large knows little of the deaf subculture. They don't know that most deafness is not hereditary but is caused by afflictions like rubella, German measles, and meningitis. They also are unaware that the deaf speak in two separate languages: the standard subject-verb-object system that reflects typical language structure and amesian (American sign language) which has no grammatical order but conveys the meaning of ideas in a few simple gestures. Both of these languages can justifiably classified as foreign languages. Yes, the deaf are different, but as we look back upon the comments of our deaf brothers, Tony, Jim and Dan, it becomes increasingly apparent that the similarities of development they have experienced closely parallel our own. Our differences exist largely in our heads and are based on preconceptions. There is still much to be learned about deafness. As a discipline, it is rapidly expanding in research activity and interest. As a people, the deaf are just now coming into their own and are demanding to be

heard

Reprinted From High Gear August, 1975